All of this has been a rollercoaster. 2019 was supposed to be about me getting EVERYTHING back on track, but now I see that isn’t going to be possible. I’ve been on the slow roll, and gone through a lot more changes than I thought possible since that post on the first of the year. I’m about to embark on yet another rollercoaster of week, marking the one year passing of my beloved father. I have struggled with feeling of guilt over the happiness at my self discovery, but I know my dad would be proud.
I spent the last weekend of May (Memorial Day Weekend) at the Wildfire Fire and Flow Arts Retreat, where I was surrounded by about 250 wonderful people who are crazy about the same arts as me, open minded, and in a place where I never felt the need to hide my lifestyle and shared affections, even around people I had just met. The weekend was amazing, followed by a week of reflection (and rain. Lots of rain. And also a couple of sunny days where I could spin poi outside of my apartment without the wind taking over), and then BAM! June first. Pride Month had begun.
After coming back from that wonderful weekend with my primary partners, their infant son, and friends old and new, I decided to come out (after about 8 years of practicing non-monogamy on official and unofficial levels, and six months, knowing for sure I was polyamorous, on a completely open and official platform — just quietly; it took about three months into my current relationship to realize I was TRULY pansexual) on “the big social media” as polyamorous and pansexual. I told my mother and my cousin (who is like my best friend and brother and encouraged and reassured me that more of our family was polyam-friendly than I thought), and the handful of friends I had not told before. It was an exhilarating and freeing day, followed immediately by the sadness of my father’s upcoming memorial.
I have the most wonderful and supportive partners, we are lucky to feel equally for each other and, as always, even though they have an insanely busy schedule, assured me that they would be available for all the love, snuggles, and ugly cries for however long I needed.
I guess my point here is that the main portion of my blog will be centered around the lifestyle changes that have made my life better over the last year. I have been a fire starter and the Ask Abby for the polyam underground community, and have had several requests to actually write up some essays and personal stories about my life as a polyamorous, pansexual woman. And I will be doing so. My intention is not to sway anyone away from monogamy; I believe both monogamy and polyamory are both valid and equal relationship types. Despite what many people think, I do not hate monogamous people; I just dislike toxic monogamy and the idea that some people practice monogamy simply because it’s what society “expects” of them. I believe in loving who you want, how you want, as long as everyone is happy and on board for the right reasons. This blog will also be even moreso LGBTQIA+ friendly, so if this bothers you, please skip these entries rather than leaving rude comments (they will not be tolerated).
I will still be doing tutorial posts and items for sale as I intended, but writing about lifestyle, positivity, wellness, and being true to oneself has become very important to me. I hope you all stay on this journey with me, and if there are any topics that you would like me to write about, I would be happy to try my best.
Right now (for lifestyle posts as such) my plan is to post about my own discovery, and then an article on Boundaries and Consent. I hope to see you all (and more!) on the other side.
All the love,